A US Navy destroyer stopped four Mexicans in a rowing boat who were rowing north towards California. The Captain got on the loud-hailer and shouted out to them, “Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?” One of the Mexicans put down his oar, stood up and shouted back, “We are […]
A man went to the dentist to have a tooth extracted because it had decayed and was giving him a lot of pain. The dentist sat the man down in the chair, got him reclined and then pulled out a novocaine syringe to help to numb the area around the […]
The US Air Force found they had too many officers and NCOs and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of a thousand dollars for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The […]
Fergus O’Malley had been hailed as the most intelligent man in Ireland for three years running. He had won several top television quiz and game shows and it was suggested by the Irish Mensa board that he should enter the English Mastermind Championships. Well, Fergus applied to be a contestant […]
Also known as “women’s intuition”, this sixth sense in women thing is no myth, it’s a reality. Women seem to know what’s going on in their men’s lives almost better than their men do themselves. It really does seem like they have a sixth sense, but why is this? In […]
One morning, a husband took a pair of his underwear out of the dresser drawer. “What the heck!” he said to himself as a little dust cloud appeared when he shook them out. “Heather”, he called into the bathroom, “why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?” She quickly […]
A truck driver who had been out on the road for two weeks, stopped at a brothel on the outskirts of a small town. He walked straight up to the Madam, laid down $500 and said, “I would like your ugliest woman and a plate of lukewarm greasy food!” The […]
A group of hikers were being led through the wilderness of the Northwestern USA by a travel guide. On the third day, the hikers came to the conclusion that some of the landmarks looked familiar and it became apparent that they had been travelling in circles. “I reckon we are […]
A corporate executive received a monthly bill from the law firm that was handling a big case for his company. The monthly bill included hourly billing for conferences, research, phone calls, fax, photocopying etc. It literally included everything that the law firm could bill for, except lunch breaks. Unhappy as […]
A man walked into a bar, pulled up a stool, called the bartender over and ordered a shot of whisky. He gulped it down and then peeked into his shirt pocket. A few minutes later he ordered another shot of whisky, gulped it down and again peeked into his short […]