The Bells Of Notre Dame

THE BELLS OF NOTRE DAME

After Quasimodo’s death, the Bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame
sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was
needed.

The Bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally
and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process.

After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had
decided to call it a day.

Just then, an armless man approached him and announced that he was
there to apply for the bell ringer’s job.

The Bishop was incredulous. “You have no arms!”

No matter,” said the man. “Observe!.” And he began striking the bells
with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon.

The Bishop listened in astonishment; convinced he had finally found a
replacement for Quasimodo.

But suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man
tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in
the street below.

The stunned Bishop rushed to his side!

When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen
figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments
before.

As they silently parted to let the Bishop through, one of them
asked: “Bishop, who was this man?”.

“I don’t know his name,” the bishop sadly replied, ” I don’t know his
name…

“but his face sure rings a bell”

WAIT! WAIT! There’s more …. (DON’T DELETE YET!)

The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his
heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the
Bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame.

The first man to approach him said, “Your Excellency, I am the
brother of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this
very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me
to replace him in this duty.”

The Bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless
man’s brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell,
he moaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around, and died on the
spot.

The monks, hearing the Bishop’s cries of grief at this second
tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side.

“What has happened? Who is this man?” the first monk asked
breathlessly.

” I don’t know his name,” sighed the distraught Bishop, but…”

( . . Wait for it . . .. )

( .. . . It’s worth it . . ..)

(…….Here it comes…..)

” He’s a dead ringer for his brother.”

{groan} {groan} {groan} {groan}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CONTENTS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. The Joke of the Day (above)
2. The Big Poddy Speaks
3. The Bonus Joke
4. Another Bonus Joke
5. Today’s Adult Joke
6. My Other Joke Pages

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Funny Halloween Pictures – don’t miss these…
http://www.poddys.com/jokes/hallindex.htm

See my collection of Squidoo Lenses – there is a link at the bottom
of this message. I have a Daily Joke page with either a joke or
funny picture for every day since February 2008, so if you still need
more jokes than in this message – just check the Daily Joke lenses.

I also have some other great Humor lenses – not only Daily Jokes.
Again the links to these are at the bottom of this message.
I hope you will find time to take a look.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE BIG PODDY SPEAKS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi Everyone,

Welcome everyone from Sunny Florida where winter has at last
arrived. Monday night the temperature dropped to 57 degrees, and
last night it dropped to 50. So it’s decidedly chilly, but nice blue
skies at least. For those of you running in Centigrade, 57 is 13C
and 50 is 10C. Yeah – it’s not so chilly compared with many of you
living closer to the poles… Just teasing you :)

I hope you enjoyed the long long long joke I sent out yesterday. Did
you actually manage to read through it? Are you still in the middle
of it? Is it going to take you a week LOL :) Or did you just give
up…

I am trying to catch up and get a few more jokes out now, since my
princess returned to England and I have a bit more time on my hands.
I still have hundreds of emails to work through, hundreds of links at
Stumbleupon (http://poddys.stumbleupon.com) to wade through too, and
lots of updates to make to my lenses at Squidoo
(http://www.squidoo.com/lensmasters/poddys).

Since I have been so busy taking care of my girlfriend, I haven’t
been able to promote my lenses as much as I would like, and the
traffic has slipped somewhat, which is saddening. If you do have
some spare time and would like to see some more jokes, funny
pictures, music videos or to see what else I have created pages
about, there is a list of my humor lenses at the end of this message,
or you can visit http://www.squidoo.com/lensmasters/poddys for a list
of all the lenses that I have created – over 60 now covering a number
of different topics.

Well October is about to fade out, November will be here at the
weekend, and soon Christmas, Hannuka or whatever you celebrate at the
end of the year. I can’t believe how quickly 2008 has passed.

I will also be pleased next week when the Presidential Election here
in the USA finally gets around to the voting stage, and hope it
doesn’t turn into a fiasco like the last time. If you would like to
see a mildly adult funny related to the election, don’t miss the
adult joke section later in this email. I hope you enjoy it.

That’s it from me for today.
Enjoy the jokes.
Hope you have a great week.
Tony -> The Big Poddy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE BONUS JOKE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ONE FOR HALLOWEEN

Two brooms were hanging in the closet, and after a while they got to
know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom
broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over
and said to the groom-broom, “I think I am going to have a little
dust broom!!!”

“IMPOSSIBLE !!” said the groom broom.

Are you ready for this?

Brace yourself; this is going to hurt.

“WE HAVEN’T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!”

{thanks for that joke Mickey}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ANOTHER BONUS JOKE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LIVER AND CHEESE

Three male dogs were walking down the street when they spotted a
beautiful female Poodle.

The males were speechless.

Said the Poodle, “The first one who can use the words ‘liver’
and ‘cheese’ in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with
me.”

The black lab blurted, “I love liver and cheese.”

“Oh, how childish,” scoffed the Poodle. She turned to the Golden
Retriever.

“Um, I HATE liver and cheese,” he said.

“My,,” said the Poodle. “I guess you’re hopeless.”

She then turned to the Taco Bell Chihuahua and said, “How about you,
little guy?”

He smiled, winked, and said to the other two, “Liver alone, cheese
mine!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
UH-OH — ADULT MATERIAL FOLLOWS — WARNING !!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ARMLESS

A man with no arms walked in to a bar and asked for a beer.

The bartender shoved the foaming glass in front of him.

“Look,” said the customer, “I have no arms – would you please hold
the glass up to my mouth?”

“Sure”, said the bartender, and he did.

“Now,” said the customer, “I wonder if you’d be so kind as to get my
handkerchief out of my pocket and wipe the foam off my mouth.”

“Certainly.” And it was done.

“If you’d reach in my right hand pants pocket,” said the armless
man, “you’ll find the money for the beer.”

The bartender got it.

“You’ve been very kind,” said the customer. “Just one thing more.
Where is the men’s room?”

“Out the door,” said the bartender, “turn left, walk two blocks, and
there’s one in a filling station on the corner.”

{thanks for sending that one in Ahmed}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MORE ADULT MATERIAL FOLLOWS — WARNING !!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wherever you may be in the world, you no doubt have been bombarded
with news of the presidential Elections here in the USA and the saga
of Sarah Palin. This is a funny clip of her from a recent debate.
Can you read her lips and tell what she is saying?
http://tagfoot.com/poddys/news.15A6C276-D817-492F-A36B-F8E2D6C07101

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MY HUMOR LENSES AT SQUIDOO – LOTS MORE FUN FOR ALL
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Don’t miss all my other jokes pages – many more jokes, fun stories,
and funny pictures.

THE DAILY JOKE LENSES
The Index – http://www.squidoo.com/the_daily_joke
Feb/2008 – http://www.squidoo.com/joke-a-day
Mar/2008 – http://www.squidoo.com/thedailyjoke_March2008
Apr/2008 – http://www.squidoo.com/the_daily_joke_april_2008
May/2008 – http://www.squidoo.com/the_daily_joke_may_2008
Jun/2008 – http://www.squidoo.com/the_daily_joke_june_2008
Jul/2008 – http://www.squidoo.com/the_daily_joke_july_2008
Aug/2008 – http://www.squidoo.com/the_daily_joke_august_2008
Sep/2008 – http://www.squidoo.com/the_daily_joke_september_2008

OTHER JOKE LENSES
My Pet Peeves – http://www.squidoo.com/my_pet_peeves
My Claim To Fame – http://www.squidoo.com/my_claim_to_fame
Religious Jokes – http://www.squidoo.com/religiousjokes
Golf Jokes – http://www.squidoo.com/golfjokes
Baby Boomer Jokes – http://www.squidoo.com/baby_boomer_jokes
Super Heroes Gone Wrong -
http://www.squidoo.com/super_heroes_gone_wrong

FEELING CREATIVE?
Why not have a go at creating your own lenses like I have done. It’s
really very easy, and I will be pleased to help you along, plus the
forums are full of people that will happily point you in the right
direction if you get stuck. If you think you might like to try, just
click here…
http://www.squidoo.com/lensmaster/referral/poddys
Just be aware that you could get hopelessly addicted.