Is This Your Wife?

The police knocked at Murphy’s front door last night.

When he opened the door, there was a policeman holding up a picture of his wife.

The policeman said “is this your wife sir?”

Shocked, Murphy answered ” yes”.

The policeman said “I’m afraid it looks like she’s been hit by a bus”.

Murphy said “I know, but she has a lovely personality.”

The Wife In Winter

I just got off the phone with friend in southern New Jersey.

He said that since early this morning the snow has been falling heavily and it is nearly waist high.

The temperature is dropping below zero and the north wind is increasing as well.

His wife has done nothing all morning, but look through the kitchen window.
 
He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

Wife Control

Casey, Murphy and Sullivan were talking in the pub.

Casey and Sullivan are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the Murphy remained quiet.

After a while Casey turns to Murphy and says, “Well, what about you? What sort of control do you have over your wife?”

Murphy says, “I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.”

Casey and Sullivan were amazed.

“What happened then?” they asked.

She said, “GET OUT FROM UNDER THE BED, MURPHY AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!”

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