Tag Archives: school jokes

I Can’t Find It

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Billy was excited about his first day at school.

So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom.

So, Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused.

Of course, the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick.

Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed.

“I can’t find it,” he admitted.

The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram of where he should go and asked him if he would be able to find it now.

Billy looked at the diagram, said “yes” and went on his way.

Well, five minutes later he returned to the classroom and said to the teacher, “I can’t find it.”

Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who has been at the school for a while, to help him find the bathroom.

So, Tommy and Billy go together and five minutes later they both return and sit down at their seats.

The teacher asks Tommy, “Well, did you find it?”

“Oh sure,” Tommy replied, “he just had his boxer shorts on backwards.”

Raw Materials

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In school one day, the teacher decided that for science class she would teach about raw materials.

She stood in the front of the class and said, “Children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?”

Little Stevie raised his hand and said “I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Corvette.”

The teacher nodded and called on little Susie.

Little Susie said, “I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche”

The teacher smiled and then called on Little Adam.

Little Adam stood up and said, “I would want silicon.”

The teacher said, “Adam, why silicon?”

“Because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars parked outside of our house!!”

Being Followed

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A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school.

He didn’t want his mother to walk with him. She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but yet know that he was safe.
 
So she had an idea of how to handle it.

She asked a neighbor if she would please follow him to school in the mornings, staying at a distance, so he probably wouldn’t notice her.
 
She said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed.
 
The next school day, the neighbor and her little girl set out following behind William as he walked to school with another neighbor girl he knew.

She did this for the whole week.
 
As the two walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, William’s little friend noticed the same lady was following them as she seemed to do every day all week.

Finally she said to William, ‘Have you noticed that lady following us to school all week? Do you know her?’
 
William nonchalantly replied, ‘Yeah, I know who she is.’
 
The little girl said, ‘Well, who is she?’
 
‘That’s just Shirley Goodnest,’ William replied, ‘and her daughter Marcy.’
 
‘Shirley Goodnest? Who the heck is she and why is she following us?
 
‘Well,’ William explained, ‘every night my Mom makes me say the 23rd Psalm with my prayers, ‘cuz she worries about me so much. And in the Psalm, it says, ‘Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life’, so I guess I’ll just have to get used to it!’