A distinguished looking young lady is on a flight returning from
Switzerland.
She finds herself seated next to a priest and asks, “Excuse me father,
may I ask a favor of you?”
“Well of course Miss, what can I do for you?” he replies.
“Here’s the dilemma: I purchased for myself a superbly sophisticated
electronic hair remover. I paid a lot of money for it. I really went
well over the limits set forth by Customs, and I fear they will
confiscate it from me. Could you perhaps secret it through Customs
for me under your robes?”
“I certainly could, my dear, only I must warn you I really am not ever
able to lie.”
“You have such an honest face, father, surely they will never ask any
questions of you,” and with that she hands him the hair remover.
After landing they proceed through Customs and it becomes the father’s
turn in line. “Father, do you have anything at all to declare?” asks
the Custom’s officer.
“From the top of my head to my waist I have nothing to declare my son.”
Finding this answer a little strange the custom’s officer proceeds to
ask, “And from the waist to the floor, what do you have to declare?”
The priest replies, “I have a marvelous little instrument designed to
be used on a woman, but which has never yet been used…”
Roaring with laughter the Custom’s officer says,
“Go right on through, Father. Next!”
{Thanks for sending that to us Sarah – it’s a classic}
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CONTENTS
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1. The Joke of the Day (above)
2. The Big Poddy Speaks
3. The Bonus Joke
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THE BIG PODDY SPEAKS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi everyone,
Have a great weekend.
Tony -> The Big Poddy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE BONUS JOKE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHT WE SEND OUT AND FORWARD JOKES
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the
scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.
He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead
for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of
the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it
was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch
that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate
looked like pure gold.
He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a
man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, “Excuse me, where are we?”
“This is Heaven, sir,” the man answered.
“Wow! Would you happen to have some water?” the man asked.
“Of course, sir. Come right in, and I’ll have some ice water brought
right up.”
The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
“Can my friend,” gesturing toward his dog, “come in, too?” the
traveller asked.
“I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t accept pets.”
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and
continued the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came
to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had
never been closed. There was no fence.
As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree
and reading a book.
“Excuse me!” he called to the man. “Do you have any water?”
“Yeah, sure, there’s a pump over there, come on in.”
“How about my friend here?” the traveller gestured to the dog.
“There should be a bowl by the pump.”
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an
old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.
The traveller filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself,
then he gave some to the dog.
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was
standing by the tree.
“What do you call this place?” the traveller asked.
“This is Heaven,” he answered.
“Well, that’s confusing,” the traveller said. “The man down the road
said that was Heaven, too.”
“Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope.
That’s hell.”
“Doesn’t it make you mad for them to use your name like that?”
“No, we’re just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave
their best friends behind.”
Soooo…
Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without
writing a word.
Maybe this will explain.
When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what
you do? You forward jokes.
When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you
forward jokes.
When you have something to say, but don’t know what, and don’t know
how, you forward jokes.
Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still
important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what
you get? A forwarded joke.
So, next time if you get a joke, don’t think that you’ve been sent
just another forwarded joke, but that you’ve been thought of today and
your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.
You are welcome @ my water bowl anytime
So that’s why I send you lot all these jokes ..
<Thanks for sending that to ME Sarah, and I wholeheartedly agree with
it – so I’m forwarding it to you lot! Just to let you know that you
are all welcome here in our growing group of laughter spreaders. Now
do the same and go out and spread these words of wisdom among your
family, friends and co-workers.>
