Smiling Bodies

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.

The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

‘First body: Pierre Dubois, Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his 20-year old mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector’, says the Coroner.

‘Second body: Hamish Campbell, Scotsman, 25, won £50,000 on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.’

The Inspector asked, ‘What about the third body?’

‘Ah,’ says the coroner, ‘this is the most unusual one. Paddy Murphy, Irish, 30, struck by lightning.’

‘Why is he smiling then?’ inquires the Inspector.

‘He thought he was having his picture taken’

Scottish Lottery Winner

A Scotsman was convinced by a friend that he ought to buy a couple of lottery tickets, and so reluctantly he parted with the money.

Well what do you know, the Scotsman wins the Jackpot and becomes a millionaire.

However his friend noticed that after he won the big prize, the Scotsman didn’t seem happy.

“What’s wrong?” the friend asked. “You just became a millionaire!”

“I know,” he groaned. “I just wish I hadn’t bought that second ticket!”