I went out to this restaurant not long ago and met the waitress of my
About halfway through dinner I called the waitress over and said,
“Ma’am, this potato is bad.”
She nodded, picked up the potato, and smacked it. Then she put it back
on my plate and said, “Sir, if that potato causes any more trouble,
you just let me know.”
1. The Joke of the Day (above)
2. The Big Poddy Speaks
3. The Bonus Joke
4. Today’s Adult Joke
5. The Bonus Adult Joke
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** JUST ADDED – SANDBANKS – BRITAIN’S MALIBU **
I hope you will find time to take a look.
THE BIG PODDY SPEAKS
A huge THANK YOU to everyone who took the time to visit my lenses at
Squidoo. I hope you enjoyed your visit. I have been updating my
lenses, so if you do have time to help more, please could you click on
the following links this week. If I ask for one or two clicks per
mailing, and enough people respond, that would be an amazing help for
me and would help me to get a better ranking, and as a result more
Religious Jokes – http://www.squidoo.com/religiousjokes
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Well it’s been a busy week here, but work has been back to normal
which has been good, allowing me a bit of time at night to work on my
web sites, and also to exercise a bit. Depending on what time I get
home and what the weather is like, I either take a brisk walk around
the block, which is 2 1/4 miles around a lake, past some gorgeous
homes, through the golf course, or I go for a swim in the pool at the
condo complex. If I get home early enough and the sun is still up I
try and do both, since I like to climb the stairs rather than take the
elevator, and I live on the 7th floor! Going down is ok, but by the
time I get to the top after my walk I’m puffing a bit. It’s good for
me though, and I feel better than I have for years.
Enjoy the jokes…
Hope you have a fun weekend and that life is treating you kindly.
Tony -> The Big Poddy
THE BONUS JOKE
An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when
she is pulled over by a cop.
“Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a
warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”
“Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.”
“That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein
loops across the horse’s back and around one of his balls. I consider
that animal abuse. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take
care of that right away!”
Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her
encounter with the cop.
“Well, dear, what exactly did he say?”
“He said the reflector is broken.”
“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?”
“I’m not sure, Jacob … something about the emergency brake.”
UH-OH — ADULT MATERIAL FOLLOWS — WARNING !!!!!!!
Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar.
He Walks over and asks Paul what’s wrong.
“Well,” replies Paul, “You know that beautiful girl at work that I
wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her.
“Yes,” replies Jeff with a laugh.
“Well,” says Paul, straightening up, “I finally worked up the courage
to ask her out, and she agreed.”
“That’s great!” says Jeff, “When are you going out?”
“I went to meet her this evening,” continues Paul, “but I was worried
I’d get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped “it” to
my leg, so if I did, it wouldn’t show”.
“Sensible” says Jeff.
“So I get to her door,” says Paul, “and I rang her doorbell. She
answered it in the sheerest, sexiest, dress you ever saw.”
And what happened then? Asked Jeff.
“I kicked her in the face.”
UH-OH — MORE ADULT MATERIAL FOLLOWS — WARNING !!!!!!!
A gas station in Texas was trying to increase its sales, so the owner
put up a sign saying, “Free Sex with Fill-Up.”
Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for
his free sex.
The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed
correctly, he would get his free sex.
The redneck then guessed 8, and the proprietor said, “You were close;
the number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time.”
A week later, the same redneck, along with his buddy, Bubba, pulled in
for a fill-up.
Again he asked for his free sex.
The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess
the correct number.
The redneck guessed 2 this time.
Again the proprietor said, “Sorry, it was 4. You were close, but no
free sex this time.”
As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, “I think
that game is rigged and he doesn’t really give away free sex.”
Bubba replied, “No it ain’t, Billy Ray. It ain’t rigged, my wife won
twice last week.”