Mick was meeting a friend at the pub and as he went in he noticed two pretty girls looking at him. An Irish joke…

Tags: Irish Jokes, nine, pretty girls, pub jokes

Murphy and Casey run into each other while walking their dogs. Murphy suggests lunch. Casey says, “They won’t let us in a restaurant with pets.” Undeterred, Murphy and his German shepherd head into the restaurant. The maitre’ d stops them, saying, “Sir, you can’t bring your dog in here.” “But I’m blind,” Murphy replies, “and [...]

Tags: blind man, dog walking, dogs in restaurants, guide dogs, Irish Jokes

YOU CAN ALSO FIND THESE LIMERICKS AND MORE ON THE LINK BELOW – ALL ARE ORIGINAL LIMERICKS AND POEMS WRITTEN BY AUTHORS ON ASSOCIATED CONTENT CLICK HERE FOR LIMERICKS FOR SAINT PATRICK’S DAY A LIMERICK FOR SAINT PATRICK’S DAY When the world’s dressed up in their green The brightest colors that you have seen They [...]

Tags: 17 march, cabbage, corned beef, emerald isle, fairies, fairy folk, green beer, green hats, green sleeves, guinness, ireland, irish, irish builder, Irish Jokes, irish rhymes, leprechauns, limericks, march 17, mick, piskies, saint patrick, saint patricks day, silly hats, silly poems

Seamus was thinking of buying a coffee maker but was concerned it might be too complicated to operate. The salesman assured him it was easy to use. “You simply put in the coffee and filter, fill the reservoir with water, slide the switch to auto and go to bed. When you wake up you can [...]

Tags: coffee, coffeemaker, irish, Irish Jokes, murphy, seamus

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were standing looking at a prize cow in a field. The Englishman says “Look at that fine English cow.” The Irishman disagreed, saying “No, it’s an Irish cow.” The Scotsman thought for a moment and then clinched the argument. “No, it’s a Scottish cow – it’s got bagpipes [...]

Tags: Animal Jokes, cow jokes, english jokes, Irish Jokes, prize cow, scottish jokes

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?” The man said, “I do, Father.” The priest said, “Then stand over there against the wall.” Then the priest asked the second man, “Do you want to go to heaven?” “Certainly, Father,” [...]

Tags: catholic, heaven, irish, Irish Jokes, murphy, Religious

Maggie Murphy was complaining about her husband, Paddy, spending all his time at the pub, so one night he took her along. “What’ll ya have?” he asked. “Oh, I don’t know. The same as you I suppose,” she replied. So Paddy ordered a couple of Jamesons and threw his down in one go. Maggie watched [...]

Tags: complaining, Irish Jokes, jamesons, poison, pub, whisky

Casey, Murphy and Sullivan were talking in the pub. Casey and Sullivan are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the Murphy remained quiet. After a while Casey turns to Murphy and says, “Well, what about you? What sort of control do you have over your wife?” Murphy says, “I’ll [...]

Tags: control, Irish Jokes, wife jokes

An Irishman goes for a job on a building site. The foreman says, “Can you brew tea?” The Irishman says, “Yes.” “Good.  Can you drive a fork lift?” The Irishman looks at him and says, “Just how bloody big is the teapot?”

Tags: cup of tea, fork lift, Irish Jokes, teapot