Little Boy Logic

A young boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book.

About every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand.

His mother says, “Thomas, are you all right? You’ve been in there for a while.”

Thomas says, “I’m fine, Mommy. I just haven’t gone yet.”

Mother says, “Okay, you can stay in there a few more minutes, but Thomas, why are you hitting yourself on the head?”

Thomas says, “Well it works for ketchup!”

Tomato Attack

Paddy has a big gash on his head, so he goes to the doctor to have it checked out.

“That’s a big slash cut on your head. How did that happen?” Asked the doctor.

“Well you see, it’s like this”, says Paddy. “Me wife hit me on the head with some tomatoes.”

“Be God, that’s incredible,” says the doctor, “I can’t imagine how any tomatoes would make a cut like that.”

“Sure they were still in the can,” replied Paddy.