difficult day - The Laughline

CONVERSATIONS WITH JESUS

Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back
yard and having many a gin and tonic along with a quiet conversation with Jesus.

This happened to me again recently after a particularly difficult day. I said
“Jesus, why do I work so hard?”

And I heard the reply: “people find many ways to demonstrate the love they have
for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful, beautiful place for your
friends and family to gather.”

I said: “I thought that money was the root of all evil.”

And the reply was: “No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Money is a
tool; it can be used for good or bad”.

I was starting to feel better, but I still had that one burning question, so I
asked it. “Jesus,” I said, “what is the meaning of life? Why am I here?”

He replied: “That is a question many have asked. The answer is in your heart
and is different for everyone. I would love to chat with you some more, Senor,
but for now, I have to finish your lawn.”

{Thanks Golfinpop, I just had to share that one}

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CONTENTS
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1. The Joke of the Day (above)
2. The Big Poddy Speaks
3. The Bonus Joke
4. Another Bonus Joke
5. Today’s Adult Joke
6. My Other Joke Pages

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I also have some other great Humor lenses – not only Daily Jokes.
Again the links to these are at the bottom of this message.
I hope you will find time to take a look.

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THE BIG PODDY SPEAKS
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Hi Everyone,

I just had a great weekend and hope you did too.

My girlfriend and I decided to take off for the day yesterday for the
West Coast of Florida, hoping that the weather would be nice.
Actually it was practically perfect over there, whereas back here on
the East Coast it rained on and off all day. We sent to Sanibel
Island, a small island off Fort Myers, which is famous for collecting
sea shells. Found some good shells (but not huge ones), took a
couple of great dips in the Gulf Of Mexico, took lots of photos too,
and just had a wonderful time.

I have been so busy lately with my girlfriend here from England that
I haven’t been able to get the jokes mailings out to you, it all
takes a lot of research, but I have still been trying to keep up with
my lenses at Squidoo, since this is where just about all of my online
income is earned, and it’s pitiful really, but I need every penny
that I can get. I normally add links here or above to some of my
lenses, but I decided instead from now on to just add the links at
the bottom of the message, so that you can get on with reading the
jokes. I do hope you will continue to visit my lenses though, I need
all the visitors I can get! Lately the rankings have suffered, so
every time you visit one of these, my ranking goes up, and
potentially my earnings too.

There is one lens that I would like to tell you about though, and it
is a very special one for me. 4 weeks ago (it doesn’t seem that
long though) we both spent a long weekend in New York. It was the
first time that either of us had been there, and it was the most
amazing trip. We decided to put a lens together so that we could
tell our friends about the trip. If you would like to share in our
fun, the address is http://www.squidoo.com/new_york_city_break -
there are lots of personal photographs as well. Feel free to
forward it to your friends, to Stumble it, Digg it etc (if you visit
any of those social bookmarking sites).

Enjoy the jokes… Hope you had a great weekend.
Tony -> The Big Poddy

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THE BONUS JOKE
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THE CHARITABLE BARBER

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut.

After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, “I cannot accept
money from you. I’m doing community service this week.”

The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a thank you
card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the
barber again replies, “I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community
service this week.”

The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a thank you card and a
dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to
pay his bill, the barber again replies, “I cannot accept money from you. I’m
doing community service this week.”

The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a thank you card and a
dozen different books, such as ‘How to Improve Your Business’ and ‘Becoming More
Successful.

Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the
barber again replies, “I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community
service this week.”

The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen
Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that illustrates the fundamental difference between the
citizens of our country and the members of our Congress.

Vote carefully this year.

{Thanks Golfinpop, I just had to share that one too}

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ANOTHER BONUS JOKE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE SHOPPING TRIP

A woman was in town on a shopping trip.

She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a
beautiful dress on sale in the second.

In the third everything had just been reduced to five dollars when her mobile
phone rang.

It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a
terrible accident and was in critical condition and in intensive care.

The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that
she’d be there as soon as possible.

As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best
day ever in the shops. She decided to get in a couple of more shops before
heading to the hospital.

She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of
coffee and a beautiful cream slice complementary from the last shop.

She was jubilant.

Then she remembered her husband.

Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital.

She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband’s
condition.

The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, “You went ahead and
finished your shopping trip didn’t you! I hope you’re proud of yourself! While
you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has
been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It’s just as well you went ahead
and finished, because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you
ever take! For the rest of his life he will require round the clock care. And
you’ll now be his carer!’”

The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed…

The lady doctor then chuckled and said, “I’m just pulling your leg. He’s dead.
What did you buy?”

{Thanks Ahmed, that was a good one}

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UH-OH — ADULT MATERIAL FOLLOWS — WARNING !!!!!!!
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ALL I WANTED

When I was 14, all I wanted was a girl with big t*ts.

When I was 16, I dated a girl with big t*ts, but there was no
passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for
life.

In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the
time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with
some stability.

When I was 25, I found a very stable girl, but she was boring.
She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything.
Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some
excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up
with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on
anything. She did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone
she met. She made me miserable as often as happy. She was great
fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided
to find a girl with some ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart, ambitious girl with her feet
planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so
ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

Now I am 42, and all I want is a girl with big t*ts.

{Yeah – I wish I was 42 – again…}

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MY HUMOR LENSES AT SQUIDOO – LOTS MORE FUN FOR ALL
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Don’t miss all my other jokes pages – many more jokes, fun stories, and funny
pictures.

OTHER JOKE LENSES
My Pet Peeves – http://www.squidoo.com/my_pet_peeves
My Claim To Fame – http://www.squidoo.com/my_claim_to_fame
Religious Jokes – http://www.squidoo.com/religiousjokes
Golf Jokes – http://www.squidoo.com/golfjokes
Baby Boomer Jokes – http://www.squidoo.com/baby_boomer_jokes
Super Heroes Gone Wrong -
http://www.squidoo.com/super_heroes_gone_wrong

FEELING CREATIVE?
Why not have a go at creating your own lenses like I have done. It’s really
very easy, and I will be pleased to help you along, plus the forums are full of
people that will happily point you in the right direction if you get stuck. If
you think you might like to try, just click here…
http://www.squidoo.com/lensmaster/referral/poddys
Just be aware that you could get hopelessly addicted.

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Conversations With Jesus