Tag Archives: death

Mourning

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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating,

“Why did you have to die?  Why did you have to die?”

The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?”

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied ……

“My wife’s first husband.”

Michael Jackson Jokes

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Well Michael Jackson has departed this life at the tender age of 50, and I am sure his music will live on with his fans for many years to come, but so too will all the bizarre elements of his life, including his many plastic surgeries, change of color from dark brown to whiter than  white, his obsession with his Neverland Ranch, pet monkey, and of course the accusations that he was molesting boys while they slept over in his bed.

As often happens when a celebrity passes away, it doesn’t take long for the jokes to appear, and while many are sick and twisted, they are also incredibly funny.

Kudos to the people who thought these jokes up.  I don’t know who you are, but you sure know how to turn a news event into something that can make a lot of people laugh.

I will be adding to this list as new jokes come in, so if you have any more, please add a comment and let me know.

Right, enough from me, on with the jokes…

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Rumor has it that at the time Michael Jackson suffered a heart attack, he was blowing Bubbles.

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So Farrah Fawcett died and went to heaven yesterday morning.

Because she’d been so good during her life, the lord said he would grant her a single wish.

Being the good natured person that she was, she said “I just wish that all the children of the world are  safe”.

The next thing you know, Michael Jackson died.

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An autopsy on Michael Jackson’s body has revealed that at the time of death, he was 90% plastic.

They are going to turn his remains into Lego, so that now children will be able to play with him.

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Heaven

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After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven.

While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table.  Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.

They saw her and began calling greetings to her:  “Hello. How are you?!  We’ ve been waiting for you!  Good to see you.”
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, ‘This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?”
“You have to spell a word,” Saint Peter told her.
“Which word?” the woman asked.
“Love.”
The woman correctly spelled “love” and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About six months later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.
While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.
“I’m surprised to see you,” the woman said. “How have you been?”
“Oh, I’ve been doing pretty well since you died,” her husband told her. “I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a big mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation and I went water skiing today. I fell, the ski hit my head, and here I am. How do I get in?”
“You have to spell a word,” the woman told him.
“Which word?” her husband asked.
“Czechoslovakia.”