First Class Parrot

A businessman finds that his neighbor in the first class cabin of his flight is a parrot.

They take off and the flight attendant asks what they would like to drink.

“Glenlivet on the rocks with a twist,” says the parrot.

The businessman orders a coke.

After waiting two or three minutes, the bird starts yelling, “Where’s my drink?!  Stop fooling around and give me my drink!”

The fight attendant runs to him with his glass, leaving the businessman still thirsty.

Half an hour later the fight attendant makes a second round.

The bird orders another Glenlivet and a Wall Street Journal.

The businessman asks for another coke.

Again, after a couple of minutes, the bird screams, squawking, “You lazy idiot!  Where is my drink?!”

The poor woman nearly trips over herself getting the parrot his drink and the newspaper.

The businessman still has nothing, and after ten more minutes decides to take his cue from the bird.

“Hey! Where’s my coke!  The service here stinks!”

Out of nowhere the purser, the captain and two passengers grab the businessman and the bird, open the hatch and throw them out of the plane.

At 30,000 feet in the air the two fall side by side and the parrot says to the terrified man, “Wow that took a lot of guts for a guy with no wings.”

Dead Penguins

dead penguinsDid you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica – where do they go?

Wonder no more!!!


It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.

The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in  the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

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“Freeze a jolly good fellow.”
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“Then they kick him in the ice hole.”

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You really didn’t believe that I know anything about penguins, did you!

The Origins Of Food

Sarah Kay was studying the origins of foods in kindergarten.

One day, she and her mother were walking through the grocery store discussing what ingredients went into various products.

Sarah Kay said, “Pork comes from pigs and beef comes from cows.”

Then she asked, “How DO they get the pork from the pig, Mommy?”

Her mother felt that the truth was the only way to go, so she explained that they kill the animal to eat its meat.

Horrified, Sarah Kay went past shelves staring at the meat and saying, “They KILLED a cow to get THIS?”

She could not believe it, and her little heart was broken.

Then, they went to the bakery where Sarah Kay began to check out the various donuts and goodies.

She noticed a beautiful white cake and asked, “Mommy, what is this cake called?”

Her mother replied, “It’s an angelfood cake, honey.”

Immediately Sarah Kay’s eyes filled with big tears and she wailed, “You mean they KILLED an ANGEL to make this?”

Have A Nice Day

Do you ever have one of those days when something seems a bit ‘off’ but you just can’t put your finger on it…

Or it seemed like all the people around you just wanted to butt heads…

Or just get into some kind of weird tug of war?

Sometimes you just need to take a fresh, new look and get a different perspective on things.

Remember to try your best to show kindness to others…

Sometimes looking at things from their perspective might help….

So, when life gets you down…

Remember to just keep going, and keep your head above water…

And you’ll get by with a little help from your friends!

Have a nice day…

And a GREAT week…

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