As it's April I thought you might enjoy a seasonal joke. I warn you in advance though, it's a terrible one...
On his way to work a man had to swerve to avoid a box that had fallen out of a truck right in front of him.
A State trooper saw him swerve like crazy and … Continue Reading ››
I had a call from my boss this afternoon. He asked if everything was ok at the office. "Yes, everything is under control", I said to him. "It's been a very busy day, I haven't stopped for a minute." "Can you do me a favor?" he asked. I said, "Of course, anything, what is it?" He said, "Hurry up … Continue Reading ››
Michael and Denise had only been married a few months when he came home from work to be greeted with "Honey, I have a surprise for you". "Oh", said Michael, "what's that sweetheart?" "It's great news", Denise said, "very soon there will be three people living in this house instead of two". Michael practically ran to her with … Continue Reading ››
For his entire working life, a dedicated and hardworking Astro-physicist tried in all earnest to find the existence of other beings somewhere in the universe. Finally, after no less than 67 years of constant effort, and shortly before he was due to retire, he receives a response from a planet 30 billion light years away. “What is … Continue Reading ››
A few days before her birthday a husband asked his wife, “Darling, what would you like for your birthday present?” Wife: "I really don’t think I should say". Husband: "Well, how about a diamond ring?" Wife: "You know I don’t care much for diamonds". Husband: "How about a mink coat then?" Wife: "You know I do not like furs." Husband: "A … Continue Reading ››
After dinner, Patrick raises his glass and toasts his girlfriend with the words "May you be in Heaven a half-hour before the devil knows you're dead!" "What's that mean?". she asks him. "That is an authentic Irish toast" replies Patrick. "Oh. In that case", she says, "Here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon". "Bread, eggs and cinnamon? What's that?" says … Continue Reading ››
An elderly couple went for a stroll in the park and after a while they sat down on a bench to rest. Just then they overheard voices coming from a secluded spot nearby. Suddenly the woman realized that a young man was about to propose to his girlfriend. Not wanting to eavesdrop at such an intimate moment, she … Continue Reading ››
Patrick saw his friend Murphy sitting in a pub and looking really distressed, so he went over and asked him what the problem was. Murphy replied, "My wife has gone and enrolled me in a bridge club." "That doesn't sound so bad to me" said Patrick, "so why are you all upset about it?" Murphy replied, "I didn't … Continue Reading ››
His mother has barely finished her lunch when Johnny bursts through the front door of the house with a huge smile on his face, having come home early from school. Surprised to see him so soon, his mother asked, "Why are you home from school so early?" Johnny says, "They let me go early because I was … Continue Reading ››
Mrs. Sullivan returned home to to Ireland from a vacation to France where she had taken a class in French Cooking. She tells her husband Seamus that she is going to prepare him a special meal for St. Valentine’s Day, and that he is to go down to Murphy's Market and buy two dozen escargot, which … Continue Reading ››