The Pope, George Bush and Robert Mugabe (Dictator of Zimbabwe) were in a boat on Lake Kariba one day when it sprang a leak.
The problem was that there was only one life-jacket in the boat.
“I guess, I’ll have to take it,” said George Bush arrogantly, with an eloquence not normally associated with him. “After all, I’m the leader of the free world.”
“Not so fast,” said the Pope. “As head of the spiritual world, I ought to have the life jacket”
“I disagree,” said Mugabe. “You are in Zimbabwean territory, therefore the life-jacket belongs to me.”
They continued arguing as the water rose up above their feet, their ankles and their knees.
As the water was coming up to their stomachs, they decided that the only fair way to settle the matter was to hold a democratic ballot.
Mugabe won, 12 votes to 2.
THE RIOTERS PRAYER
Our father, who art in prison, my mum knows not his name, thy Riots come, read it in the Sun, in Birmingham, as it is in London, give us this day our Welfare bread & forgive us our looting, as we’re happy to loot those who defend stuff against us, lead us not into employment but deliver us free housing, for thine is the tellys, the Burberry & the Barcardi, forever and ever…Innit.
Well done to whoever wrote this, and well done to the UK Government for handing out severe penalties to all those who were in any way involved with the recent rioting and looting.
I know that I haven’t talked to you that much, but this past year you have taken away my favourite actor, Patrick Swayze, my favourite actress, Farah Fawcett,and my favourite musician, Michael Jackson.
I just wanted to let you know that my favourite Prime Minister is Gordon Brown.