Doing rounds, a new nurse couldn’t help overhearing the surgeon yelling, “Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!”
“Why does he keep doing that?” she asked a colleague.
“Oh, he likes to call the shots around here.”

Tags: calling the shots, hospital, hospital jokes, measles, medical, Medical Jokes, nurse, surgeon, tetans, typhoid

Our local newspaper ran several stories about a study that tied male obesity to a virus.

One evening my brother came home exhausted from a long day at work.

“Did you read the paper?” he asked.

“I’m not going in to work tomorrow.  I’m calling in fat.”

Tags: absence, fat, health, male, obesity

A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital.
The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands.
“Doctor,” says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. “Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?”
“I don’t see why not,” replies the doctor.
“That’s [...]

Tags: bandaged, doctor, hands, hospital, patient, piano, surgery

What’s the difference between a neurotic, a psychotic and a psychiatrist?
A neurotic is the person who builds a castle in the air.
A psychotic is the person who lives in it.
And a psychiatrist is the person who collects the rent.

Tags: castles, medical, mental health, neurotic, psychiatrist, psychotic

Giving an elderley man his physical, a doctor noticed several dark, ugly bruises on his shins, so he asked, “Do you play hockey?”
“No” said the man.
“Do you play soccer?” said the doctor.
“No” the man said.
“Do you play any other physical sport?” asked the doctor, curious to know how what caused the bruises.
“Not at all” said [...]

Tags: bridge, bruises, doctor, elderley, exam, medical

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, ‘Hello.’
‘Mrs. Sanders, please.’
‘Speaking.’
‘Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory.  When your husband’s doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well.  We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband.  Frankly, [...]

Tags: alzheimers, healthcare, medicare