SPRING CLASSES FOR WOMEN AT
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Tuesday,May 15,2009
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer – How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for [...]

Tags: adjusting a thremostat, cerebral atrophy, classes, classes for women, education, explanatory graphics, health watch, how to ask questions, line support, live demonstration, medicine for pms, parallel parking, parking, real life testimonials, shock therapy, slide presentation, support groups, toilet seats, women

I just want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year.
Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.
I can’t use the remote in a hotel room because I don’t know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie [...]

Tags: education, junk mail, warning messages, warnings

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”
TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER: John, how do you spell “crocodile?”
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
JOHN: Maybe it s wrong, but you [...]

Tags: nightmares, pupils, school, students, teacher, teaching

A teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his one to ten well.
“Yes! Of course! My pop taught me… even more than ten”
“Good. What comes after three?”
“Four,” answers the boy.
“What comes after six?”
“Seven.”
“Very good,” says the teacher.
“Your dad did a good job. Now… so what comes after… lets say ten?”
“A jack”

Tags: education, johnny, numbers

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber, seeing him come in, whispers to his customer; “This is the dumbest kid in the world.   Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks; “Which [...]

Tags: barber, barber shop, boy, dollar bill, dumb, ice cream, quarters

These are allegedly actual metaphors and analogies taken from high school prose… quite beautiful:
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
Long separated by [...]

Tags: literacy, metaphors, prose