Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs and losers of golf balls.
A recent study found that the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found that golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
This means that on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.
Kind of makes you proud.
I almost feel like a hybrid.
Mike is playing a round of golf, and at the seventh tee, he slices his shot deep into a wooded ravine.
Off he goes in search of his lost ball, taking his eight iron with him.
He climbs down the embankment in search of the missing ball, and after a good ten minutes of hacking at the undergrowth, he spots something glistening amongst the leaves.
Moving closer, he discovers that it’s an eight iron, and it’s in the hands of a skeleton!
Mike calls out to his friend, ” Jim, I’ve got trouble down here!”
“What’s the matter?” Jim asked from the edge of the ravine.
“Can you throw me down me my wedge,” Mike shouted. “You can’t get out of here with an eight iron.
Paddy came home after his regular Saturday golf game, and his wife asked why he doesn’t include Sean O’Connor in the games anymore.
Paddy replied “Would you want to play with someone who cheats constantly, swears all the time, lies about his score, and has nothing good to say about anyone else on the course?”
“Of course I wouldn’t,” his wife said.
“Well,” says Paddy, “Neither would Sean O’Connor.”
The Lamaze class was in full swing.
The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
The teacher then announced, “Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!”
The room got really quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.
“Yes,” replied the teacher.
“Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”