A businessman finds that his neighbor in the first class cabin of his flight is a parrot.
They take off and the flight attendant asks what they would like to drink.
“Glenlivet on the rocks with a twist,” says the parrot.
The businessman orders a coke.
After waiting two or three minutes, the bird starts yelling, “Where’s my drink?! Stop fooling around and give me my drink!”
The fight attendant runs to him with his glass, leaving the businessman still thirsty.
Half an hour later the fight attendant makes a second round.
The bird orders another Glenlivet and a Wall Street Journal.
The businessman asks for another coke.
Again, after a couple of minutes, the bird screams, squawking, “You lazy idiot! Where is my drink?!”
The poor woman nearly trips over herself getting the parrot his drink and the newspaper.
The businessman still has nothing, and after ten more minutes decides to take his cue from the bird.
“Hey! Where’s my coke! The service here stinks!”
Out of nowhere the purser, the captain and two passengers grab the businessman and the bird, open the hatch and throw them out of the plane.
At 30,000 feet in the air the two fall side by side and the parrot says to the terrified man, “Wow that took a lot of guts for a guy with no wings.”
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were standing looking at a prize cow in a field.
The Englishman says “Look at that fine English cow.”
The Irishman disagreed, saying “No, it’s an Irish cow.”
The Scotsman thought for a moment and then clinched the argument. “No, it’s a Scottish cow – it’s got bagpipes underneath!”
A seagull has developed the habit of stealing Doritos from a neighborhood convenience store.
The seagull waits until the manager isn’t looking, and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos.
Once outside, the bag gets ripped open and shared by other birds.
The seagull’s shoplifting started early this month when he first swooped into the store helped himself to a bag of Doritos. Since then, he’s become a regular. He always takes the same type of chips.
The manager thinks it’s great because people are coming to watch the feathered thief make the daily grab and run, and that’s good for business, and especially since customers have begun paying for the seagull’s stolen bags of Doritos because they think it’s so funny .
However, the manager did say, ‘ if that seagull starts to grab a 6-pack of BEER to go along with the Doritos, I may have to put a stop to it.’
Wonder no more!!!
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
“Freeze a jolly good fellow.”
“Then they kick him in the ice hole.”
You really didn’t believe that I know anything about penguins, did you!